Welcome To New LA

by Shit Narnia

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debut EP from Perth punks Shit Narnia, released on the 8th of January 2014


released January 8, 2015

recorded by Rhys Catlin at the Fly Trap
mastered by Mikey Young
album art by Ellie Glen



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Shit Narnia Perth, Australia

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Track Name: I Was A Teenage Atheist
at the tender age of thirteen i became a militant
well my weapon was a webcam and my christ a total cunt
with a minimum of knowledge and ironically more faith
i made videos denouncing god from my chubby dickhead face

well i could place the blame on dawkins
for leading me astray
but if obnoxiousness weren't directed so
twould have gone another way
see i was
a teenage atheist

brought my crusade to the real world to my christian education
tireless rebel! defender of the truth! fighting against indoctrination
in chapel services head unbowed in arguments with the preacher
oh in hindsight i'm impressed by the restraint showed by my teachers

well i could point the finger at youtube
for encouraging my vice
but fuckin myspace or vimeo
would have similarly sufficed
see i was
a teenage atheist

an obnoxious little
spouting drivel
shouting spite
and spraying spittle
ignorant skeptic
words from a septic
narrowness perfected
teenage atheist!
Track Name: Claremont Boys
claremont boy he's swaggering he's confident and clean
claremont boy he's up to date with the street fashion scene
claremont boy he's drinkin swan he's outside smokin darts
claremont boy he's posturing well versed in all the manly arts

claremont boy he's telling you about the girls he's fucked
claremont boy his dick is straight oh he has all the luck
claremont boy he's glaring at the flowers in my ears
claremont boy there's nowhere that he'd rather be than here

claremont boy he's coming in, wearing his compton shirt
claremont boy he's upstairs and he's getting on the turps
claremont boy he tells his mates oh watch this it'll be ace
claremont boy he's rushing out, he's bleeding from his face

claremont boy he's glassed himself
claremont boy he's glassed himself
claremont boy he's fuckin glassed himself
Track Name: Grinning From The Right
tw: rape

he came from portland
no doubt his parents only one
his life a wild tale in the making, when he's breaking
he'll tell it to his grandsons
wide eyed inspired their granddad's the guy
grinning from the far right hand side
guess it wouldn't be right to tell them that in life
their granddad was a cunt

so at the bar we broke off
you, nick, my brother just the four of us
you told us of that euro trip
of the drugs and chicks
and all the blokey shit that you did
but then it got to the story
how on the tenth floor he
had asked you guys to wait for him
and when the moment was right
to flick on the light
to gather round and cheer for him
she was taken unaware
stripped completely bare
and his grip held so tight
maybe she tried to escape
but his circle of mates
was already crowded in so tight
and his grip held
friends yelled
eyes wide like animals
and do you ever wonder you fucking monster
where that poor girl is now

and so i sit here
and i hear your story
never piping up
not when you slap the table laughing
with your eyes all screwed up
not when you lost it over
how long he held on
not when you flicked the light on
not even
when she cried when she tried to hide
she was terrified so fucking terrified and

and the way that you laughed
when you said
how she couldn't get away
from this experience
she'll carry with her
til her dying days
you're such a motherfucker
to think
that what you did was okay
and if there were
any justice in the world
you'd be dead or in fucking jail
Track Name: The Obituary
he's a scientist in the laboratory of masculine longing
an explorer in the undiscovered continent of love
he is out of place, an old man who is searching for belonging
wounded by zionist push and feminist shove

oh he reacts against a cocktail
of a thousand different fears
to terrified he puts his faith
in each conspiracy he hears

he hates the whole world but himself and feminine foreign wife
he's made that hatred his career and its become his life
he links communism to satanism to nuclear disasters
and ignores the obvious in search of still more secret masters

these are the words of a man
who as a child was told
that his beliefs were special
and that his words were gold

picture him giving the obituary
at the funeral for the old ways
tearful at the fall of the white men
and the rise of the women and gays
oh and every mourner their present
all decked out in luxurious black
is old and het and white and male
all filling the pews to the back
and the crowd they do not seem to notice
the fact that is clear as the day
that the being their meant to be mourning
is standing up there on the stage
and as his speech becomes more and more fevered
and he skips from malaise to malaise
the crowd becomes part of the deathtoll
in increasingly tenuous ways
and by the time his words reach fever pitch
the topic of speech has become
how every one of them's fuckin dead
and the whole outside world holds a warm smoking gun
Track Name: New L.A.
why do i find this sight so romantic
10,000 cars stagnant and frantic
a river of headlights frozen in twilight
our ventricles clogged tight every weeknight
i took a trip out to the city's frontier
mining cash building suburbia here
where imperial expats live pale summer dreams
in cream brick facades with vacation themes

the sprawl it spreads further every day
suburbs are built and begin to decay
you know that we're just a few years away
welcome to new LA
Track Name: Fapathy
stuck in a routine of drinking and working
eating shit food and playing videogames
i smoke too many cigarettes
i'm in a cycle of boredom and hideous shame
gotta get out of this fapathy

i dropped out of uni and now i just wank heaps
to porn on my shitty nokia phone
three times a day it's killing my sex life
i'm worried it'll end up with me all alone
gotta get out of this fapathy